in my mind

A character in this reality, each of us is a character in each episode. Everyone else is watching in another reality. Who is to say what is known? What if all that is known is just perceived? Everything we know is almost everything that we have been told. If our ancestors figured their own truths, why are we not looking for our own?

-in my mind

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

where we were...Going to be

I need you to change
somethings I could not stand
so I thought it was best to sit
but I could not fit
and I thought it would be best to split
Now I want to share
a banana split
but you can't have the other half
not from the distance
and If I brought it to you
it would melt
because we'd find something
to argue about
and then we'll find our self
in the same place we always end up
close to the end
pointing fingers
the best game we ever played
was the blame game
somehow we have to stop
get away from the same
little things that makes
littler sense
and get us intense
I could not figure
if I hated what I became
or if I became what I hated
but I hated who I was
around you
somehow you bring it out of me
not sure who keeps putting it in me
I needed you to change
but you needed me to change something first
and I need you to change something first
but who's going to go first?
No one wants to win this race
But I changed me
and now life is moving in a different pace
and we are in a different place
now I realize you were right
we were always meant to be
you just wasn't right about the time
it's quarter past midnight
why are we up at this time
you always said you can see the future
well guess I can too
I hope he gets some of my features
lets not get distracted
lets not jinx it

Monday, November 14, 2011

Feeling Nothing

Dieing in disbelieve
killing all of the notion
that it could be real
don’t stand still
listening
say what you feel
you have to sometime
see something
that’s not real
or you will feel
nothing
not a thing

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Rob Me...

If you are to rob me:
Rob me of my jealousy, so that I am rid of this emotion that leave me uneasy, ready to strike, to take whats not mine, thieving my neighbors property to keep for myself.
To be rid of the emotion that has a man lurking in time, waiting to take her from her rightful owner because he cannot deal with images of her without him.
Robe me of my pain, the pain that leave me crippled, unable to walk, talk, or move. Take it away so that I can feel complete and with comfort.
Because his body reject itself and leaves him close enough to feel death tickling his underfoot, the pain that steals sleep from a man and has him wishing he was taken so that he does not feel such pain again.
Rob me of my shame, so that I can live and forget my wrong, the things that have me worried, that my secrets will be unveiled and shame in my veins that has a man feeling shame all over his face.
She cannot walk amongst man because unveiled truth that spilled like substance from a drunks throat and has all man wanting from her alone time so that they can act on they perverted ideas and bring forth her shame.

Don’t rob me of my hate…
That which is all I have after those who I old close to the heart betray me and leave me to my end. After all the pain he endured, for long, he begged and prayed to fall in GOD’s Hands, but GOD refuse to intervene.
Don’t rob me of my last coin..
The one that I will need to feed my kids while their mother on the hospital bed awaiting her time to say goodbye, this last coin that will extract pain from a mans belly after its exchange for a piece of bread.


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Red, The Brown, The Blond and The Dots

Pervious to my daily tasks
time and time again
I must have counted the color dots on  your face
so many times, I almost remember how many
Millions short of being colored
brown, some what blond, somewhat reddish
I could not decide, but you look good in all
At times I found myself unnerved
Simply by your presence
which is a present, this present, I most miss
the smile, short laughter, 
Did I mention the smile,
that turn with her head but have her eyes linger,
for one millisecond more?
One millisecond that by could have counted for one minute
and all of the complements
did you get my complements?
I think I have a crush
on you, I'm not sure
maybe it's something else
but numbers run long, 
this is short of a distance
in time



Sunday, November 6, 2011

My Everyday Home: I


My mind was made, I was going to smile, and she would not be able to bare sitting next to a stud, and my smile, the killer, that take their heart from their chest…

Looking up at dark blue, almost black sky, not relieved that I would not share the night with the stars before I am slowly slipped into her pocketbook and fall into the field of dreams. The day was a day, and pleased that the glowing night rock replaced the young dry day, and the sun stop beating sweat out of my skin. In search for a bottle, where they always seem to leave baby in the corner. Baby, oh baby, how I wish to take you out of your corner, where your body is cramped and fall onto my tongue, before almost melting as I roll you onto my teeth. Baby oh baby, let me find you my treasure, laying in someones trash. Baby oh baby, if you could just see a man to sleep; tuck me in before I say goodbye to this day.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Dolce Vita Across The Waters

I am minutes of deciding my own fate,
second from naming a child,
and milliseconds from being forever lost.
Where my boat to sail?
this two roads, leave man idling in the same space,
so man must change his pace.
I move to the open ocean,
I sail far beyond my reach,
I tear in between vast winds,
and plow in between large body of water,
I find myself home far from land
Waters I have come to know as home,
I find myself a stranger in the same world
and from nowhere crept shower of happiness.
My belly has found a home,
and my mind has found retirement.
I have once again found living souls
vibrant minds
ecstatic vision of the world,
form the other side
of the binocular
things look much more pleasant

I have found my place,
where I should cultivate my body
I need my company, my stock, my capital
so that I can reach beyond my world once more
and see what was made for me to see.
To stay in the same stale air, is to know noting beyond
to never part from ones self, is to never find peace
not seeing the world, leaves a man handicapped
but these three legs have not failed me yet
and so land I have come to love you,
but the waters call me now,
time is bending, my friend,
we shall meet shortly


All rights reserved © EOU 2011

Friday, October 28, 2011

Number Friends

Number is running from me
Sorry to see you go
It was short
but nice knowing you

I care little to make your acquaintance
I could not fight meeting you
Thinking you were no good
I thought it was best to keep distance
but once I met you,
things changed

I must say
you showed me a lot of things
you thought me more now
than all my other number friends

It is difficult,
but I know goodbye it must be
So long
new old friend
So long
I hope you teach everyone you meet
All that you have thought me
and show them
what you have showed me

So long
number friend

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Lose

When you want something so bad
And you get in too deep trying to find it
that you lose yourself
I was not alone
but in the crowd, I could not find myself
I thought I was short of a distance to
what I was looking for
but found difficulties finding me
I would hope I was hiding
and so I went to look under my bed
empty, silence, and some dust
I looked in my closet
full of clothing and shoes
I looked in all the rooms
everything was as I left it
I looked in shower
for sure someone was present here
I then followed the prints into my room
I found myself gained with age
sitting at the end of the bed
asking, now that you find me
lets find you



All rights reserved ©

Back Time Forward

The world is turning
and I can only see you
in my rear view
in front of you
is a time line
so therefore
you are becoming my past
I'm stepping on the gas
I need more time to pass
and a little faster
to zip by the overcast
I'm going to miss you
all of you
so I must change gears
put it down
so the pain of leaving diminish
the faster I go
can't turn around to wave
that will only bring me back

Sunday, October 23, 2011

To Forget

Forgetting someone at times can prove to be a difficult task, but remembering what you mean to them may help ease the self torment one may be dealing with. When we realize what we mean to someone, we then understand how important we were or are to them. That helps us detour away from the pain we feel. This however does not help everyone. Self train is important because most people cannot get over what they feel because they think of the good things the person brought to their lives. We cannot look at it that way, we must look at the good and the bad because in life we should always try to balance. A balanced world is a more perfect gravity.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

One Way Funnel...Obsession

Obsession is a one way funnel. We have become more obsessed with ideas and careless to face reality. What we want and how we are perceived hold a huge rock over our heads and there is no telling when it might drop. I find that in the subject of obsession I am guilty of thinking I was not obsessed and that I was open minded. I realized that I was open minded, but only in areas I cared to be open minded in.

We are so obsessed with how people see us when we should not care at all what people think. We are obsessed with making everything perfect but we have heard millions of time that there is no such thing as perfect. We are obsessed with who we think we are and should realize that the only way to know who we are is through others. We are obsessed with finding the opposite sex that we think is best for us but we never know what is best for us, only what we want to be best for us. We are obsessed with fascinating the world with our present but less than one percent notice us and of those, even less remember us.

Obsession... a one way funnel.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Security "A State of Mind"

As human beings, is not enough to be sure. We look for sureness in everything and we at peace assuming that we have found it. What we do not know is that there is no such thing as sure. Being sure about anything proves right for a short period and after that measuring that we are not in control of our future nor with what is around us. When we think we found security we let our guards down and forget the possibility that there may be glitch in our security that can leave us vulnerable.

Security in many forms; Who one is, job security, status, safety and such. WE ARE NEVER SECURE and so security is only a state of mind.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Taking Ones Might: String of fairy lights

IV*XXVII*MCMLXXXVIII

You had one in your hands
Desinor
you held ones might
and could have crushed one, and
have one crawling to you
with empty promises

One was all yours
your words
commands to one
but your mind, fear
to lose what you never earned
and now the might controls you
telling you to keep hold
tight, the hold, tighter
to draw sea men
you beg the sea to come crashing
but the sea waves are held
by one, even with ones might
the glow of the moon, this night
have one howling,
commanding the drawing
commanding the hold of ones might
but for you, it must have been the longest night

You wanted the tower
you almost begged
for your waves to come crashing
but the tower, not for you
is for one place only
your voice
so that it can draw one
till might no more

While you flow
discharging your currents
but you wanted to rain
on the tower itself
and the tower in ones best built
wanted you to continue to be drawn
why did you not take what belongs to you
why did you not stop in your tracks
and have one on his knees
with empty promises
why did you not leave one in his might
so that it would be yours forever
ones might


This world could have been made for you
so that you can flow like the sea
and your waves can crash over and over
from where your worst pain will be
you have been rewarded ecstasy
but you do not know the power
because yours is not what we see
maybe skin deep
and since it's not
one will have to ask
how deep
can you go

The world could not be yours
string of fairly lights
through the strength
you did not have
to keep your sea
from crashing
so that they first see you
beauty, only
skip deep
but it's not deep enough
so one will need you
to deep
ones might


Sunday, September 11, 2011

Suicide

Looking at the reflective glass, he knew he had to say goodbye. He stood there for as long as he could stand and admired all that he was.  He looked at his eyes, nose, and mouth, knowing he would not see them again, at least not in the same way. He woke his fingers from sleep and gently touch them.


He went to all his friends, asked them for forgiveness for all that he had ever done. Those that he had a falling out with, he apologized for his part. He said goodbye to everyone. Well he did not say goodbye in words, he said it with his actions. They unable to understand the real meaning of it, took it as a step into a better man for him.


He went to the shed, found a strong rope. He then proceeded by to his room and hung the rope onto the wall. He put himself into the rope and jumped. He killed himself.

He woke up the next morning, dressed in clothing that did not belong to him and exited the building. He walked slowly as if a person with no point, he walked as if he had no where to go. He walked and walked, and walked.

He walked far away from himself, from all he owned, from all he knew. He walked outside himself and became someone else. He became Ego.


Wednesday, August 31, 2011

490 To in between you

fetish
phobia
dancing nude
sex fiend orchestra 
releasing gold into you
raining beyond your mood
pouring vast amount of energy
open your mouth
I'm cumming vast amount of love
air lifted smell of ignition
on top with visible definitions
eyes are drawn, the skin
they are not tightly held
and a fix
ready for entry
in the middle of lecture
flashing too much skin
of breast
and now
all of the pressure
right now, the most might
to the skin so tight
this great erection
for you to take
play the flute
with this musical thing
and shape your guitar
ready to be twang
and then it land
with rumble
shaking the whole jungle
until sprays of grain
into the golden field


Monday, August 15, 2011

Taking Ones Might: String of fairy lights


You had one in your hands
you hold ones might
and could have crushed one, and
have one crawling to you
with empty promises...


Thursday, June 9, 2011

Socially Unsocial

I have gone a long way since birth, I have passed lines just to find more line that keep me running, and I wonder when will I have a chance to sit, or even sleep. I have been running just to find that I have changed, and the man I once was, am no longer. I still have the same thoughts as to where my body to deliver, but was born a fool so that I can graduate and recognize myself. The mirror shows me for who I really am; it shows me things no one else can really see. But my brothers have put hate in their pockets for me. They placed it by their side so that they only need to put in their hands my name and remember that they hate me. If I ask them why, I am sure even they are not sure. They will not understand my change and so I must sit here like a jester ready to entertain, but I have grown and an entertainer I am not. They will not understand for they will look at me like a loved neighbor who has gone on a killing rampage and say “I thought I new him.” My advice, do not think because you know me as much as you know yourself, you know me? I sit in the corner of jealousy so that I can watch all that I want pass by me and think, "I wish I had that." But I sit and they all drive pass me and think to themselves, I wish I had that. It started with jealousy, that thing; I cannot say I care for, for it had my brothers running against me. That I cannot fault for it helps me graduate, maybe better, maybe faster, because someone is willing to oppose me and so challenge for myself has disappeared. They then fall and realize that they could not beat me and decide to go back, I cannot be mad, but supposed I am for they are not the only ones who have lost. In fact I may have lost greatly because I have lost myself to challenge and them parting from me have made my life a target for more challenge. And then they grow man, and they hate me and say, “ I turn my back on them, society.” The finger next to my index finger rises because now I have transposed my feelings into my hand. Fuck you, society, I say. Fuck you and this conscious of social you are trying to make. Fuck you hard and because I am more inclined, I can say I don’t give a fuck
Fuck you because I was born looking at societies back. Fuck you because I could have run behind you with a knife in my hand, but I simply turn my back on a turned back. Fuck you because your back turned on my mother took a toll on me and the challenge you put on my mother is a challenge un-challengeable. Fuck you for you took my fathers books and you told him to serve, you took his clothes and you told him to stand, and then you tried to shame him but he will not be shamed. And so my father turned his back on you, and now your eyes shot with red vessels only because you feed off the hate you received. And I, like my father, will hurt you more by turning my back while your words come into one ear and out the other. Fuck you because your rules exceed its potentials and it’s not to be abide by all. Fuck you because I took you seriously until the books showed me all your flaws. Fuck you because your flaws are used against me and one cannot even be a law-abiding citizen. Fuck you because I must choose between religion and work. Fuck you because my education does not believe in my spirit but my spirit is required to be an ordinary citizen. Fuck you society that is right, I said fuck you. When you die, let those who made you, those who did not have to abide pour liquor on soil for you. Fuck you society and when you die, those you have pushed to the end will piss on your grave.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Amongst Us


We are bestowed by silence
creating life with bad experiences
exercising rights, it’s our right
to be silence
here to be deaf 
the mystery
in our actions
that shows us our history
repeated
recruit more of ourselves
onto a white sheet of paper
and give it color
draw someone drawing someone
drawing someone
put a line across
so that we can get to the other side
the blinking lights in the sky
keeps man thinking
who is up
and how far down we are
teaching breathing to the lung
and muscle to be strong
refusing to consume nutrition
because it’s not proper
it’s for the indigenous
today the mind will not wake
refusal of the ignition
nothing will burn
but we die when fire is born
We die with water in our lungs
we die singing the song
    Blup, blup, blup
And after the passing is when we lived
because that is the meaning of life
“to have experienced”
so once more, we graduate
but man cries at my wake
They know they will be missed
but pour champaign for my success
can’t be self, don’t be a fish
don’t be both
because they will rest in peace
if It’s all the same,
peace will rest in us
they still live
but to see us, we must look into 
our memory
then we can laugh at what they did
and cry at what did us
The end of a part of us
Reach for the cognac
Sip the dry wood tasting liquor 
Then muscle it
So that I can bottle it up
He now controls his feelings

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Vino Rosso


Fluidly flows the red grapes, fluidly the red dress falls. Her shoulder becomes nude, the eye stills, and this moment forever to remember. The eyes blink, and light writing, the man, room full of light flashes. She will forever look like this. The bottle tips and red grapes fall fluidly into the wine glass, smoothly rolling down, dancing, content to be uncaged. Now they just want to pass, and let nature take their dead flesh, the course that some will try to deviate from, when they attempt to roll down the lips and run away.
Trying to slide away because they are so close the end, and then realization of fear, of death, is keeping them from suicide. The second strap falls from he shoulder and the man's imagination run to his pants as the top of her chest is bare but the silk remained above the breast. Showing little clivage, the light bounce off the walls, excited at the view they hold before disappearing into infinity, but not dead, but slowly dying. Many, no doubt made it out the window before looming off into space.
- Vino

To be Continued...

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Find yours

Don’t discriminate because your soul mate could be any race, and so keep your mind open and your eyes shut, because you can’t trust what’s appealing to the eyes, but do have a little more trust to the mind, and less to the heart.

Don’t discriminate because your soul mate could be in any religion and all of them are true, but all of them are false. All of them have a meaning behind what they worship and all have a reason for worshiping what they worship. If you are closed to religion, you may be closed to your soul mate

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Man on the Moon


He sit on the moon, looking down, on the earth conspiring because he sees us for which we cannot see ourselves. He sees a rose in everyone woman, and bows, and raise his hat, and smile, and walk past. And this he did, to every passing woman. And he said to all “you are all that I cannot be, You are all that has been giving, you are most, the golden child. 

Friday, March 18, 2011

LET ME BE





IF YOU LAY ME ON TOP OF YOU, YOU WOULD SEE THE WORLD TURN WITH YOU IN IT, YOU CAN THEN PUT ME DOWN AND LET ME BE YOUR SATELLITE. LET ME BE YOUR BOTTOM, YOUR TOP, LET ME BE YOUR DREAM, YOUR REALITY. LET ME BE YOUR ALARM, YOUR COVER, AND EVEN YOUR BED. LET ME BE YOUR MIRROR AND STARE AT ME ALL THAT YOU WANT. LET ME BE WHERE YOUR FEET ENTER AND PROTECT YOU FROM ROCKS AND DIRT. LET ME BE THE THING YOU MOST HATE, AND THE THING YOU MOST LOVE. IF I CAN BE ALL AROUND YOU AS I AM, THEN YOU CAN BE MORE OF YOU THAN YOU COULD EVER BE

Monday, March 7, 2011

Better, maybe tomorrow

No one can kill you more than you can kill yourself. As many people that can bring you down, is less than the many times you have brought down yourself. All the many man that you could have been, what are the chances that you are you if all could relive lives? Because I could be someone else, I love myself even more now. The time, the changes, the worries that I once never had, now dreaming of being a child just once more so that I could love it, each and every second. I know there are many that would trade, if they could, their childhood. If you do, you change everything about you. These are the moments when we realize that we can never be all we can be because with every level reached, there is more to be had. Just when you think it’s as worse as it could be, you realize that you can be even more sad.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Happiness: One of the two


You tell yourself that everything that happens is meant to be. You say it enough times that you start to believe it. Then after you start to believe, you start to doubt that it true and then you question if it were ever. When you are the mists of it all is when you realize that not of it really makes sense. How can two people find so much difficulties in finding happiness: Whether it is father and son, mother and daughter, brother and sister, friends and girlfriends, you always meet a mean when a decision must be made, where one will be unhappy? Our needs to satisfy others come between the need of our satisfaction. Are we bad people if we decide that our joy exceed theirs. After all, one of us is not going to be happy and so how do we know who to chose, us or them? Is it wise to make ourselves unhappy in order to satisfy others? If we do risk our felicity for someone else's, are we foolish, crazy, or kind? Why foolish, I ask? Well the fact that someone know that you are kind and risk your happiness for others to be happy means that you are asking to be taken advantage of. Why did I ask Crazy? Well, according to science, we are self-interest beings. We do nothing that we do not benefit from. Even if making someone else happy is a benefit for those who feel joy from seeing others happy. Lastly I say kind because our spirituality and/ or religion say that when we care for someone else’s joy over ours, we are kind people.

Which one do you find/ or hold is the truth?

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Under The Streetlight


What could be the meaning of a dead streetlight coming alive right when I’m under it? This is not the first time it happens, not even the second time. This has happen plenty of times and I am beyond myself with questions. There was no way of getting the answer, so I decided to stand there until something happens. I stood under the cold clear night and watched the stars for about ten minutes, or maybe even twenty. The streetlight flicker here and there while I was underneath, but nothing came. Nothing happened, at least that my bear eyes noticed.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Blank Focus

Reminisce of a place I've never been
dream of people I've never seen
think of things I've never had
I'm shaping my mind outside my head
wake up sometimes to watch myself sleep
real is only focused in the realm
I must be living in a film
at first I see the world
then water and land
then the plants
then the animals
when I focus on man
it gets blurry
when I focus on a man
I then see blank

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Stages In one

I can't find the steps
I
need
to
part

I am stuck in this limbo
trying
to
find
my
mind

She sent her chills
to
keep
me
Froze

But right now
I
need
to
ghost

I must find the road

The coast
from
which
I,
conceived

The vehicle

The boat
the
reason
that
I,
journey

Oh brother, where are thou?

when I look in the mirror,
I
no
longer
see
you

I see static

antique tangibles
all
that
are
invaluable

I die for the need to live
all the while, I'm living to die




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About Me

My photo
Some stories are fabricated, some stories are imaginative, some stories are not your own, and some are factual, but all are stories that is an individuals and he must share so that he feels the world part of him, not just him part of the world