in my mind

A character in this reality, each of us is a character in each episode. Everyone else is watching in another reality. Who is to say what is known? What if all that is known is just perceived? Everything we know is almost everything that we have been told. If our ancestors figured their own truths, why are we not looking for our own?

-in my mind

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Blood

Dagger and tools of men
Angered with gold in the mind
Cut, stabbed, and cut till
Their anger satisfied by 
Pedals of roses raining from the body
Lading red paint that stained the sandy ground
All 
Sound of murder, murmurs
Killed the dead silent of the crowd’s shock...[Unfinished]

Fear...

He sprints into her memory
With oversized, old man shoes
Breathing dark clouds of mushroom from a shelled casing
Bathing in sweat turned black from ashes
Flashes of them fighting, her crying
Taking it back, if she can just take it back 
Everything with them that turned bad...[Unfinished]

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Necessary Truth

When you stop fearing death,
You begin to live
When you stop worrying,
You can better live
When it all fall apart,
Then, you can start to rebuild

Growing Black Roses

hard to believe,
if one can just be, leave
difficulties in the realms
she cannot be in power
fouler than he having emotions
she wants it all, devotion
he wants just to be real, not just portions
can't believe in love, much less potions
-
fight for her, fight for her
she wants you to fight for her
but you just trying to meet halfway
by the way, she has a cake
and wants a frosting
even when you have it all
your eyes still wonder
why do we think? Why do we ponder?
when it's not perfect, that's when its stronger
when it's real, when it's right
they don't see more in anything
they just want more in everything
don't you know too much seasoning is bad,
for your heart?
build on the bad
eventually it will all fall apart
-
black roses,
roses manipulated


Sunday, November 21, 2010

Find Your Love:

Inside an Italian man’s dish
For unwanted domestics
For presidents
Being part of a resident
In the view of landscapes
On men’s wood
In a running shoe
In the a person’s blemish
In not being selfish
In music
In a kiss
For a meaning cause
Watching someone’s loss
In the site of ample hips
In the warmth of tea sips
Inside the middle of your heart
For mathematics
Between a woman's legs
When getting to your bed
For nature
In being sure
In the taste of rum
For a lonely bum
In dump sites
For sweets
In something new
Being one of the only few
In a man's brain
In happy man
In beautiful lips
For beauty
Find your love in living

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Pear

This edible fruit, green skinned,
With a shot of red from her chest to her cheeks,
As if blushing to my touch
-I held your bottom, not your cone head
-I held your bottom, so that I can see your face,
As my fangs pierces through your skin
-You are a sweet thing, sweet blushing fruit,
That blushes to my touch,
Apple bottom, yes -your exotic bottom cheeks
That resembles your close cousin: Apple
As if sisters once,
Before you decided to grow a cone,
And be this different fruit,
This exotic fruit
-I held you in my hands, as GOD did when HE sculpted you,
From clay, and decided that you be edible,
- Good thing, because what else could I do with you?
On top of her cone, she began to brown on one side,
Then fading leaving freckles, before returning to,
Her normal green color
-I want to ask, did you catch a tan?
-Or do you wish to be like your half sister?
The brown one, with soft skin,
The, not so firm, that is so sweet,
One would think she was becoming sugar?
-You are a sweet thing, sweet blushing fruit,
That blushes to my touch,
-I like your, blush, your shyness,
Your freckles that looks like a tan,
Just on one side, because you decide to wait for me,
Under the blinding sun
Green, blushing, tanned fruit,
Beautiful pear

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Letting Go

I don't know if I should cry
I new it was coming
just didn't know how, or when
10
or 10, 30
sometime between then
you said it was over

Believe it or not, I felt no change
strange
I've seen unwelcome tears
appear in situations like this
all the while, I just wish I could
make them Disaster

You said it's not working out
and you have to send me out walking
I felt no change
I wanted to cry
because that is what is normal
normal

I knew it was coming
I expected it, in fact
I said this morning, that
It'll probably be my last
day with you

Did I want it?
I may have wanted it,
in fact
I may need it
I'd admit, things are different
the love is no longer there
but I'm simple
I cannot leave
especially if I get
the frosting on the cake
I wasn't sad
I was happy
because we are all better off
better


The sun began ascending
out of the gray and white clouds
and the wet asphalt began
drying beneath my feet


Saturday, November 13, 2010

He Already Missed You

Sitting in an empty, four, white walls,
It shows unhappiness,
Sand, almost filled the bottom glass
Near ending, and he already missed you,
And you haven’t yet left.
So how can he live,
From here, to his car,
without you.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Shake Me

Dark smoky figure,
took me, then decides
to shake me to wake me
but she can't take me
SUDS
tearing sweat out of my skin

feeding me fear
earthquake for things living on me
abruption, the vessels
disruption to the lips
tongue is numb from the metal taste
the left side of the body will not wake
the brain is at stake
shake me
someone shake me
please someone wake me
from this horror
I need to be shrugged 
so this thing don't take me

Special Enough

The luxury of creating a special meal for you
as if you weren't special enough
we have to now bear witness
to this extra special someone
we have become so tired of it
jealousy is no where to be found
but I wish I had just a piece of
what you're getting

I am stuck here
because I refuse to finish
what was given to me
the right hand is not moving fast enough
it seems like I have been sitting here forever
for just one second
I wish I was you
so that I can excuse myself from
this tasteless thing

You have the luxury to say no
No is not my vocabulary
when I say it,
it just does not exit my lips
it isn't a speech problem
just a problem I just cannot discuss

Did you know I was hungry before this
my stomach growled
my mouth watered
but when I sat on the table
I just became tired
and hunger escape me
where did it go?

As if you were not special enough
I have to sit here and inhale this offensive odor
from this substance supposed that there are good for me
while you now child play
and horsing around
I am not jealous
I just wish I could be you
just for a second
so I can get off the table
where we mostly dine
but if I never see it again
I will be fine

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Rich Free Man P.II

You do not know I, but I am the closet to GOD; see HE has blessed me with all the gold, and a throne that I kindly refuse to sit in. But the gold, it is a blessing that few have received. Or maybe a blessing that has been given to everyone, but too many, too busy holding on at the edge of the mountain, trying to climb the walls of the sky to receive heaven. Heaven is not up there, I know where Heaven is, and it is not up there. I tell them to come down, but I am ignored with kind words although their face filled with hanger, maybe disgust. A secret it is from now on, since everyone kindly brush their shoulders as the truth roll from my tongue. The truth, they ignore, the truth, but never mind them, heaven, I can have all to myself...

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Venus

I need to find my spaceship,
Find my way to faraway
I need to find that girl
Not an Earthling
I need a girl from way back
Since women are form Venus
I will stop there on my way
to faraway
Dirt is filling up,
minds are chasing all that is not there
I don't want to be a part of the end
so before the end
let me find my spaceship
and go far far away

The Rich Free Man P.I


A twinkling metal fell from the sky into my paper cup. Relief coated my stomach, with the promise of a meal very soon, maybe a pie; with beef, potatoes and corn, with flavored juice that leaks through the crust. The mere thought had my tongue so excited that taste buds jump like children who are about to receive sweets. By the time I looked up, the fingers from which the coins slithered had vanished without hearing my gratitude. But I sat, then knelt, then sat, then stood, all the while, my body stood my territory, and though I marked it like a wolf, bums creep to steal me from my place....


Coming soon..The Rich Free Man P.II

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Beauty In Black

Blackmail,
The list, black
Black-book
Blackboard

Black-n-mild
Blackjack
Black suit
Black rose

Black men

Beautiful black women

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Addressed To ME

I married you, after you married me,
I said no words, but you heard me clear,
You loved me, I was mute, but you loved me
from an infant's belly, you pulled a man…

You told me I was beneath you, that said time,
I refuse to believe, because you told me our heart and soul were equal
But you never told me which side you served,
The good, the bad,
Our commitment, our crimes, although you thought me love
You gave me, that of which angered your brothers,
You hurt me, so that I become numb to pain

I stepped away from conversation that I could not follow,
Because I heard your voice by the sea,
The sea, the monster, the wire that hold the current,
And you cried my name, and I wanted to follow, I wanted to go
But my feet shackled, for my mind cannot assure that its you,
You need me, my soulmate, you need me, 
But my soulmate how are you in the sea?
How did I leave you on land, but you call me into the sea?

Our unity was ceased by a hand that found my wrist,
You cried, my heart, you cried, 
and I feared not the cain that will meet my bottom,
I cared not my punishment,
No pain, can reach the pain I will forever feel,
No gain, from those who punish me
But no cain reached an ounce of me, and I found myself, a golden child,
Before marching behind, a bus that refused to carry me,
Before reaching my home days later, exhaust, finding that you stole my heart

And all blame was on me, 
And your brother hated that their sister’s love belong to me
And I hated that you escape my finger’s reach,
Your family refuse to let me go, for all that was left of your,
Was left with me…

I find no sleep, from the moment you left, till I grew four feet,
I hated you for leaving me, I hate that you leave me here alone
And so I pressed what’s left of my heart Into an empty bottle, 
and sealed so that when we reunite, it is as fresh as the day you left

I found no one that amount to you, your hair, your dark eyes,
Your dark tan, your face, that of which I cannot remember,
Your love, your tender fingers that rubbed this child's head,
No one could amount to you, and nothing could amount to what we have,
And so I leave them feeling for me what I feel for you.

When I grew muscles on my arm, I launched the bottle filled with half my heart into the sea,
I threw if far, with every bit of anger, before every bit of tears filled my eyes and lashes,
Because I cannot remember your face, but your love will not leave me

When I grew grey hair, I walked into the sea, searching for you
I marched away from the shallow sea, because you are my end
And I found this letter that I wrote to you, but it was addressed to me

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Believing In Just...

The worst fear is that we cannot be heard
when captured  by those GOD wage no wars against
but we scream HIS name, even though we never knew him before
Although HE printed a promise never to interfere
We decide to hate HIM, even though we  never loved him
Proof is all we need,
we live disbelieving,
and those that pray often,
are those that create their own religion
because we pray, we think we can lie, cheat, and deceive
but deceive themselves, because in their hearts they know the truth
but truth sets no one free,
and so the truth is no longer worth telling
nor worth believing

Saturday, October 16, 2010

...END

The world is to be conquered
all of its possession is to be claimed
stripped and wasted
take, take, and take
but not give back

it will be conquered by man
and he will take from it its everything
and leave it defenseless
and what was once beautiful,
will be quagmire
what once gave breath to man,
will reek of offensive odors
what once gave man shelter
will be the cause of man's voyage to Heaven

the world is to be conquered,
but not stripped and wasted,
when man take, man must give back
that of which man protects, protects man

The world is to be conquered

Deprived of Color

You are deprived,


blank, you are blank,
and no one can figure you out,
who you are, what you are.


You are deprived of ethnicity,
no one can really see you,
I mean, they see you,
they just cannot really see you.


You are deprived of race, 
and they cannot find a word for you


you belong in no group, no race, no ethnicity
what you are? you are shaped like man,
but you are not man, are you? 
and so, you are subjected to rejection
blamed for no wrong doing,
you, unwillingly accept a word that offends you


you are a victim of prejudice, racism, 
you are deprived all things,
including color


Thursday, October 7, 2010

Sound From The box

I am at a lost without you,

I am frail to the sound of nothing,
To know that I am here and you may not be,
To feel all this emotion that no one else can,
To feel gravity ripped from underneath my feet,
To fall into nothingness of space

You save me; you took me from my edge, my simplicity,
You place me onto earth, so that I can once again stand,
You took my soul, and squeezed out all the sorrow, all the pain,
So that I can once again be, me,
Not just be

You are the light of me, the tune that place me back, after I have broke,
You are the breaker of silence, the mover of nerves,
You are music, the link to my heart
The string that twangs, the drum that beats, the key that plays,
You are the sound from the box,

You are Sound From The Box,
You are music


Sound of Life

I am at a lost without you,
Life

I am frail to the sound of nothing,
And having silence is for many men, a dream,
But I fear silence; a thing birthed by death,
That stops, in my mind, the world still.

When all that is felt, becomes nothing,
But in the ghost palm, you have everything,
Everything is everything in the eye,
But everything becomes nothing in the ears,

You save me; you took me from my edge, my simplicity,
You place me onto earth, so that I can once again stand,
You took my soul, and squeezed out all the sorrow, all the pain,
So that I can once again be, me,
Not just be

You are the light of me, the tune that place me back, after I have broke,
You are the breaker of silence, the mover of nerves,
You are music, the link to my heart
The string that twangs, the drum that beats, the key that plays,
You are the sound from the box,

You are Sound From The Box,
You are music

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Under The Countless Rain


Numbers drop on my windshield and the hood,
They bit at my side windows and the back-window,
They knock on my doors,
And then slide until they hit the ground.
Sound at sleep,
She resembles an angel, not that I've seen one,
But the word depicts pure, beauty, and peace,
That, she is, 

Sitting up by my side with her head on her left shoulder.
I can barely see the people crossing,
The motors around me continues to shift shapes,
Until the wipers cleared the view.

The numbers that fall, well in the trillions, as far as I know, 
they don't fall to be counted, they fall just simply,
Tinkling the metal, like the beginning of a song
I turn to her but she was already looking at me, 
I don't know for how long, but she had been staring,
Her eyes, stock on me, as if she sees stars,
Like she was looking at something more than human...

The rain continued to fall, 

and while my hands held the shift, 
her hand rested on mine,
her cold, left hand, 
sent chill up my arm,
and a warmth feeling crept up my chest, 
and the heat on my chicks,
and all of a sudden, 
we were home.


© EOU 2008


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Frames of The First

I was crushed
by my first crush
sex
quenched thirst
my soul
the need to be filled
the emptiness came
as her feet stepped past the door
poof, she disappears like magic
but left her faint distance perfume
How did I ever live without her
beautiful flower
that now holds a stench
I hate her in my belief
I need to enter her doors
and take, take, take
take back all that I gave
so that she can feel
the emptiness that no amount
of liquid or substance can fill
I need to enter her backdoor
and take as much as I gave
retract the complements
with no supplements
shake away anything she has on me
sting like a black and yellow bee
burn paper hearts
squeezes butterflies
out of her stomach
cease my beautiful mistake
from ever happening



© EOU 2010

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Poison

Poison, the thing that kills, takes one away from his mind, 
The thing that end the past and force new beginning, Poison,
The thing that regurgitate words from ones ears, and into others 
Mouth, Poison, the thing that has one crying blood, shacking with 
Fever from all the negativity past on and on from those who were
Negative.
(Blackforestrain)

Poison I am, caused by poison I ate
I ate part of an animal that my mouth watered for,
Part that my stomach growled for, Part that gave my body
Strength. This part is a part of an animal that was abused, tortured, by a mans dirty hand. Negative, dirty hands inflicts the animal, and negative to all who eat, and so negative to the soil who swallows what I shit.

Poison I am, caused by poison I heard
I heard words that made me hate, words that took part of me away and now my ears are unclean, dirt made their way through, now Damaged good, so I speak dirt, and who ever listen is inflicted by dirt, and as I, negated by what they heard, negative that negate any who hears their words, and so negative one day the whole world for the negative that spills from every mouth and into every ears.

Poison I am,
I touched a woman who was poisoned by a man’s love, a man who was created by poison; by seeds that forced their way into his mothers womb, Cruel. I bathe so that my body can be free of this poison.


I know poison, that of which I was not born with, but came to know by the teaching of those who had been poisoned, because unlike they I discovered poison in my mind, I incision to remove so that poison-less I can be.


I saw poison; my neighbor took his wife by her hair and struck because of hanger, and my small heart stopped for five seconds so that air cease to enter my lungs, and blood cease to move to my brain, so that my mind do not process and keep me un-poisoned by what I now did not see.


Friday, September 17, 2010

Flux

Swimming in a pool of salty water with sharks, taking strides to get to the other side, 
they have me by my feet, the cigar lit, the drag sent my back to the ground,
I land on fluffy white clouds, there is lag between the long and the short hand,
I watch her walk away, and her face fade from my memory,
in between my hand slid sand, I'm in between somewhere and nowhere,
never getting back is my only fear, when I turn around her face was covered with tears,
who she is, it was unclear, I am here, 
someone grabbed me from behind, pretty hands around my shoulders,
I could not turn, so I looked down again
She had cold dead hands, panic, alarmed,
I struggle to get loose, I fell face down into salty water, taking strides, running from the sharks,
I went up for air, and my head lifts from in between her legs,
She had long dark hair and long dark eyebrows, her beauty sent a smile on my face, 
and my head fell in between her legs, 
I saw smoke, my head lift from ghost hands lighting my cigar,
I turn three sixty and I was sole, standing in the middle of the ocean
staring at the reflection of the sky on water
that went for eternity








© EOU 2010
   

Friday, September 10, 2010

Dynamite is going to make everything all right!

Be cool mama, be here, keep you tight and out of sight. I’ma shake the trees from the roots, and rake up the fruits, rip it off out the ground, find out whats going down, tomorrow bout tomorrow mama cuz tonight, Dynamite is going to make everything all right...


Monday, September 6, 2010

Knowing Me: Meyoú

To know me, I must know you,
because through you, I know myself.
I am who I think I am, until you show me who you think I am.

You can't know me, because every second I change,
and every second you are not with me, is every second you lose me,
and when you lose me for the seconds, it adds up to the minutes you no longer know me.

To know me, I need me and you.
Can I say I am not me, but say I am meyoú?
because without you, I am only who I think I am,
and without me, I am only who you think I am.

Friday, August 20, 2010

White Soldiers

Like a black and white photograph,
It possess elegance; the white, the black,
And the mixture causes gray, the unknown area,

The unknown, the place to be.
To look at these, almost single filed lines,
White army, ready to go.
Their future, unknown to them,
But we, looking down, watching,
Know that they will parish,
The White Soldiers.

Fearless, but unable to stand their ground, are blown away,
Taken by air, but still charge until they parish into the stream
Making one impair, thinking he's a hero, but slowly killing.

Look down at the people looking at The White Soldiers,
And see the road to euphoria, in the still, long, forever,
Empty life, that leave theirs Souls near death in their bodies.

Friday, August 13, 2010

When she goes, she comes...

When she goes, she comes,
But no one ever knows when she comes and goes.
Hiding, but in plain site, sometimes even underneath bright lights,
You only refuse to see.
She chooses no side, not men, nor women,
And so every time you take, from you, she gives.
You think you outwit, but you are the most beat,
And you can’t see defeat.
You plead and plead “why you?”
She only return favors.
You see her over and over,
But never with the same face.

She goes, she comes,
When she comes, she goes

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Meaning of Death

Death is different for everyone and the meaning of death is different for each of us. Death to some is passing and possibly never seeing the person again. For some others it a transformation from one living thing to another. For some others it is passing on to another life, even a life that is interchangeable with ours, and the for rest, it is simply the end of being.

We define death as the end of something. To me, death is the end of a part or a path but the beginning of another.

What is death to you?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Death

The concept of death is difficult to understand. That a person can be here one minute and then be gone the next it’s beyond man’s understanding. We know that, physically they went nowhere, but their sprit or soul is no longer in existence with the body. Their eyes may be open, but they do not see us. We see them as if they are still alive. The only evidence, we know, that their vessel is empty, is because their body look cold and we affiliate cold, mostly, with death.

So did they die or did they just leave their vessel?

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” by Norman Cousins

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Lil Wayne - Runnin ft. Shanell



The song is good and very artistic. Shanell breaks it down... I lost all my money, I lost half my mind....

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Going

In the face that bears no expression
the mild wrinkle that age has gifted
and behind is the broken bridge to the past
to rewind or backward forward
your yesterday in a frame
in the mirror stands a stranger

Staring, in search for something other than the expressionless face
with hope that familiarity grace its presence
She fingers her face, and in her eyes is confusion
your stomach knots, you know the conclusion; Imagine her empty chair,
to say that mother there is no tomorrow,
although she leaves you with thousands of yesterdays

Tomorrow maybe filled with pain
but in thousands of gift wrapped boxes, is yesterday's joy,
yesterday's laughter, yesterday's smiles
all of which will bandage the pain of tomorrow

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

What we want

Our brain tells us what we want. How reliable is our brain when it has not experience everything? How does one know what kind of life he or she wants unless they have experienced it all?

We do not know what we want thats why we often enjoy what is given to us. What we want changes with time or according to situations. For example, a lot of children do not like vegetables, but end enjoying it a lot more as adults.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Religion

Religion is necessary because it helps man find his way when he questions the meaning of life. Without spiritual guidance, meaning of life is left in science hands. That meaning exposes all being as only reproductive organisms with no other purpose...

Road to Happiness

Man visits the wise man,
then asked for the road to happiness

The wise man replied,
"go straight for about two thousands miles,
then take a right. Go another two thousands miles, and take a right.
Go another two thousands mile, then take a right.
Then go another two thousands miles."

The man says "sound like I'm going around in circles."

The wise man replied "it's actually a square."

--The road to happiness is not where you go, but the journey there--

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

My Brother's Link

you, in what my hands held
strings that cannot be detached
because we are linked through a tunnel
and tomorrow will bring our resemblance
the key is through my brother

Friday, July 9, 2010

Kiss

Kiss
The kiss that happened just because she was in front of you. And her lips felt good for about a second before your stomach churned and sent you to your knees. From that you knew, Chemistry was not meant to be. Not meant to be kiss.

Kiss
When you are in harms and everything you are tells you; you are not to, you cannot kiss, and you cannot resist, and everything in the World don’t matter, not a mans girl or a woman’s husband. Can’t help it kiss.

Kiss
When you have come far and realize that no more do you want and there is another and you feel you owe that kiss, the pity kiss that you give in hopes that he or she finds it ugly and hope that he or she stops you because it is what he or she don’t want. Pity kiss

Monday, July 5, 2010

Talking Underneath the Sky

Am I supposed to care what happens? Because I find myself striving to show you that I am here. No doubt you see me, but do you really see me? Because I am talking to myself, but feel like I’m talking to you. I am talking to you, and feels like I am talking to myself.

I care to see more than the little signs, because sometimes I am not sure if they are real or if my mind created it for the comfort in my heart. Because if you ease my heart, you will ease my mind, so are YOU easing my heart, or am I?

All these lessons, all these teachings, they are becoming doubts and I find myself questioning them, then questioning myself. And beliefs in me are fading, so much that what is real is confused with dreams. And then the dreams stop or is it that I began not remembering them, and I can sleep more now than ever, and the more I sleep, the more sleep I need.

But then they come back, the same dreams, over and over, and I cannot find the meaning. The religious mans says listen to your dreams for it is GOD and his Angels speaking to you. But scientist say its my mind defragmenting, rebooting, and discarding files in my mind. They say the mind use all its knowledge of the past to predict the future. Could I believe both? Or would religion disbar me because they will say I chose mans word over GODS?

Distressed

I rest myself in your harms, so that you can care for this beast that has a lonely heart. Lonely because you are there, but you are not. And I am knotted like bolt in my stomach because, I know you are really there. I can’t see you, and that's why I am distressed.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Man is not happy until he has the World.

To own every land so that his peer look over in jealousy. To impress every woman with his property. He wants to taste every kind of food just to say he has tasted. He want to go all over so that his presence is know in the World. He want lay with every woman because he is curious to see what each posses under garment. He want to be know as something higher than man, so that the world look up to him.

Woman want to have man so that what is his, is hers.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Comparing

We do not realize that, many times, the same people whom we compare ourselves to, compare themselves to us. We have to be realistic; we all have issues, and some more than others. By measuring our problems with other, many times, helps us accept our current situation. Other times, when others issues seem less than ours, it impact us negatively.

We cannot do without measuring.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Beginning

It has begun,

blinding, then releasing offensive odor.
Block the airwaves
cloud our minds
and separate us from the sky
There was an error in this gadget

About Me

My photo
Some stories are fabricated, some stories are imaginative, some stories are not your own, and some are factual, but all are stories that is an individuals and he must share so that he feels the world part of him, not just him part of the world