in my mind

A character in this reality, each of us is a character in each episode. Everyone else is watching in another reality. Who is to say what is known? What if all that is known is just perceived? Everything we know is almost everything that we have been told. If our ancestors figured their own truths, why are we not looking for our own?

-in my mind

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Socially Unsocial

I have gone a long way since birth, I have passed lines just to find more line that keep me running, and I wonder when will I have a chance to sit, or even sleep. I have been running just to find that I have changed, and the man I once was, am no longer. I still have the same thoughts as to where my body to deliver, but was born a fool so that I can graduate and recognize myself. The mirror shows me for who I really am; it shows me things no one else can really see. But my brothers have put hate in their pockets for me. They placed it by their side so that they only need to put in their hands my name and remember that they hate me. If I ask them why, I am sure even they are not sure. They will not understand my change and so I must sit here like a jester ready to entertain, but I have grown and an entertainer I am not. They will not understand for they will look at me like a loved neighbor who has gone on a killing rampage and say “I thought I new him.” My advice, do not think because you know me as much as you know yourself, you know me? I sit in the corner of jealousy so that I can watch all that I want pass by me and think, "I wish I had that." But I sit and they all drive pass me and think to themselves, I wish I had that. It started with jealousy, that thing; I cannot say I care for, for it had my brothers running against me. That I cannot fault for it helps me graduate, maybe better, maybe faster, because someone is willing to oppose me and so challenge for myself has disappeared. They then fall and realize that they could not beat me and decide to go back, I cannot be mad, but supposed I am for they are not the only ones who have lost. In fact I may have lost greatly because I have lost myself to challenge and them parting from me have made my life a target for more challenge. And then they grow man, and they hate me and say, “ I turn my back on them, society.” The finger next to my index finger rises because now I have transposed my feelings into my hand. Fuck you, society, I say. Fuck you and this conscious of social you are trying to make. Fuck you hard and because I am more inclined, I can say I don’t give a fuck
Fuck you because I was born looking at societies back. Fuck you because I could have run behind you with a knife in my hand, but I simply turn my back on a turned back. Fuck you because your back turned on my mother took a toll on me and the challenge you put on my mother is a challenge un-challengeable. Fuck you for you took my fathers books and you told him to serve, you took his clothes and you told him to stand, and then you tried to shame him but he will not be shamed. And so my father turned his back on you, and now your eyes shot with red vessels only because you feed off the hate you received. And I, like my father, will hurt you more by turning my back while your words come into one ear and out the other. Fuck you because your rules exceed its potentials and it’s not to be abide by all. Fuck you because I took you seriously until the books showed me all your flaws. Fuck you because your flaws are used against me and one cannot even be a law-abiding citizen. Fuck you because I must choose between religion and work. Fuck you because my education does not believe in my spirit but my spirit is required to be an ordinary citizen. Fuck you society that is right, I said fuck you. When you die, let those who made you, those who did not have to abide pour liquor on soil for you. Fuck you society and when you die, those you have pushed to the end will piss on your grave.

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Some stories are fabricated, some stories are imaginative, some stories are not your own, and some are factual, but all are stories that is an individuals and he must share so that he feels the world part of him, not just him part of the world