in my mind

A character in this reality, each of us is a character in each episode. Everyone else is watching in another reality. Who is to say what is known? What if all that is known is just perceived? Everything we know is almost everything that we have been told. If our ancestors figured their own truths, why are we not looking for our own?

-in my mind

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Reflections in spilled liquor

RISL [Feat. +Rah RahTique]
Pictures of us might still linger
In the reflection of spilled liquor,
That is my cup may have runneth over,
All I see is a dysfunctional man mirrored
And splinters from a memory of distant eyes
That lodged in the blisters around my heart
As they pop one by one, it’s time to toe the mark
And reach for another bottle I’ll probably just bogart
I look up and I see dim lights from street lamps flicker
My mind feels blank, hope is bleak, no one’s around
Yet I still whisper “You couldn’t leave me any quicker”
And what’s the use in crying over spilled liquor?
Because anything you can do, I can do bitter
I have the essence of a poet distilled from the instincts of a killer
Each sentence, I could fill it with filth before I’d deliver
Driven by despair, but I’ll never be guilt-ridden,
Because every line I’ve ever have written
Was designed to cut your admiration to ribbons
Love me from a safe distance, good-bye and good riddance!

Then again, your reflection dashed in the splash
And the memory of numbers between you and I ran to me
Number of days in drawers
Spilling from wallet, my case, my desk
My mind and I swear my soul ran from my body
Leaving me too impaired to move away from you
I'm having a relapse from the absence
Of your perfume; the fume you left
On the pillows and couch
Leaving me crouched
After my eyes could not see what my nose could smell
I wanted to fall
Into your reflection in the spilled liquor
First to hug and kiss
To take back everything I did
That made you feel you had no choice but to leave me

I guess you truly had no choice but to go
Now in every bottle I see your ghost
That’s why I pour it out and swallow it, shot after shot
You jolted to a new start when I needed you non-stop
And left me with an alcohol induced aftershock
Wait hold on, was I supposed to make a toast
While holding my fuckin glass aloft?
Anyway, anything I’d like to say to you, will sound like drivel
And I feel like I’m sending you mixed signals
You’re missing the subliminal reason
Why this spilled elixir is medicinal,
When I reflect on it, I space out
And every time I land back on my feet
It’s next to your footprints, in a dreamland all tucked in
Under a cover of constraint I keep on struggling
To write this blueprint for breaking free
It’s all uphill from here and each verse covers a path
Tracking my life with a pen, it's sad it has come to a pretty pass,
I can’t stop now; I still need to get to my last gasp, very fast!
It feels like I’ve already been there, when you first walked out
That’s why I’ll never retrace my steps, but you can try to pace it out,
See if it adds up with you also ending 6 feet down
Then multiply it with the number of times I fell apart
Because I know you’ve went the extra mile to keep count of that
But it’ll get you just about to hell, that’s where I am now
Still trying to dig myself out…

Embracing nothingness
In the deep feeling of loneliness
In caved the tower of love
Into barely a cove
Lather left on the stove
Grime creased every sense of hope
There is no hope...
While I'm still digging for my heart and soul
Trying once again to find my whole
Where, underneath me, you left a hole
In the miles of hell, the thought of you
Rang like bells, picture me falling down the well
Leaving me stringed, leaving me deep
I'm feeling stripped, you used to love me to the tip
Now no choice to love you my way
while you are far away,

but I want you to be mine again
I'm falling a mine astray
I wake up my mind at fray
In the emptiness, feeling my nothingness...

Bleeding myself dry of content
Then seeing you
In the reflection of spilled liquor
Your eyes, your nose
Your hair; short, long, blond and brunette
Your lips; smirking with me then at me
The burn inward lead
I contest for the stolen heart
My stolen heart from you
Left my fractions at odds
Plead to God
To take me now...

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Some stories are fabricated, some stories are imaginative, some stories are not your own, and some are factual, but all are stories that is an individuals and he must share so that he feels the world part of him, not just him part of the world