DNU 2013

I love it

how you just know

that I need you

I know

it is you

that makes me

a better me

I constantly interrupt you

your play time

to show the love I have for you

and somehow you understand

and let me hold you

close to my heart

*InshAllah*

Born lost.
That we find our way
inshAllah

That we must follow
our fathers and mothers way.
That we pave our own roads
inshAllah

That we must feel lost
again and again.
That we search for You within ourselves
inshAllah

That we first be children
to grow adolescents
to becoming men or women
inshAllah

That we bury our truth
to search for another truth
so that the lies
run through our hands
inshAllah

That we find peace
in the world of war.
That land be no mans
and no man be ruled
inshAllah

That we are again one with earth
after we are done paving our ways
and our words be not a world apart
but live in the heart of our story
mashAllah

*** They Say

I am thin on air,

How am I rising without wings?

What is permitting me to float?

Why do I not fear this strange feeling?

To be high in the air, and my feet with ground

What is this feeling beneath my left breast?

This pound, this beat, that resembles the birth of something

Almost reaping from my chest

What is happening?

What is this light that brightens my direction?

This shinning hora that is from nowhere

Leading me somewhere

What is the meaning of this flourishing light

What is it?

Who is it that speaks to me

Men answering questions that I asked GOD

How is it so that what was spoken between GOD and I,

Is the end to what I began?

See that? See it?

I am insignificant to your hands

I am nothing, but in your eyes I see fire

Fire inside that I cannot see for myself

The fire that keeps heart inside ones rib

The fire that tear water from a man’s eye

The fire that takes me away from my minimality 

And places me one step above

The fire that we are losing, but you are putting woods to burn

I am a speck of dust in this world, but you see me

You hear me, you send me your followers

And they deliver message from your lips

They nourish me with your love

And they keep me at peace

Who am I? Why do you show me such love?

What have I done to deserve this light?

Why is it Father that I feel your presence?

And every time I have stepped away, you forgive

Like no other father, you do not question my actions

You do not force, you always welcome me with open arms

So there I must say Thank you Father

Thank you for your presence, thank you for thinking of me

Placing me in the belly of my mother and saying to me

“Live my child, live and learn the way of the land I made for you to roam”

And you send Angels to my aid,

And man to answer my questions.

I Thank you and I know no word is able to show I grateful I am

Nothing in the world can show my appreciation

No one can understand the debt, my heart owes you

I thank you father for another day I have lived

For yesterday could have been my last

But you say “My child, there is more presents for you”

I thank you for the lesson I have learned for it means plenty

To share what has been shared with me

Forgive me for my actions

Forgive me for my humanity

Forgive me for my lack of love

Forgive my want to be careless

Forgive the times I wanted the gift, your presents no longer

Forgive the times I was engaged to things

Forgive my need to prove to them

For you matter most

Forgive me for who I have become

And for letting my selfishness take the best of me

Forgive me for fearing what I do not know.

I ask for a thousands forgiveness

And I thank you millions,

I am your son, father

He whom you have commanded to live

He whom begged for your hand

I am your son, he whom shall forever be indebted to you

And your merciful 

One Second of heaven

Detox from the intoxicating perfume. Play with air to make sound. 

Wind, wind, wind, till she is fully charged

Feed it touch, feed it just with your bare body

Grow, grow, grow, like its about to explode

Save it by exsanguination, 

Draw fluid to save from man, from near death

Experiencing, stiffness to the brain, you cannot move

Experiencing, your death and a second of heaven

XI.XII.I.II.XII

be mindful

of the thieve that stole

the mind's sleep

from its dome

be not he who heir

the soul ripped

by rape

the wolf to the sheep

be merciful

to the cane 

that did not wheeled

the hand that struck

with parish

purge the filth

that pain left

distill self

from nature of men

MAGIC

The way you stare at me is magic

And I can’t help but look at you over and over to check if you still looking

When you say you magic me, I felt good,

I felt bad, I felt nothing and everything, but not really sure what I was supposed to feel

So I felt nervous to say magic, because what if magic is not real,

I will be standing on the newly cut green grass wishing I was it.

When magic becomes your worst enemy, turn a magician,

Be close friends with your worst enemy,

So that you will not again feel hurt from magic,

Because magic is simply not real,

What is real is something else,

They just gave it the name magic.

**** Blond-Fair Grace-Favour; Beloved Protector

it is destructive
perfecting life
it is
love hate and more love

searching for perfect
in a reality of imperfect
with intention of breaking
the imagination of reality

stepping away
from own lurking shadow
into a influenced world
to find another shadow

walking on stairs of bodies
to get to own crowned kingdom
as midst leaving print from own
shoes into hearts and minds

Then finding the road built
by our hands and finding the promise
we promised will bound us
with the "i do not's"

Now finding gold in hands
in harm, rocking
melting the hate
and melding our hearts

He's the gift
the bound to true promises
the road to real life
the way, we could never imagine

...Holding Beloved Protector...

Shame On You

Shame on you for not helping the kid that was getting beat up

Shame on you for not standing up for that kid getting picked on 

Shame on you for not giving a mare dollar to the homeless person

Shame on you for not trying enough

Shame on you for not giving to those who deserve

Shame on you for giving too much to the ones who don't deserve

Shame on you for all the excuses

Shame on you for all the "it's not my business" excuses

Shame on you for all the verbal abuses

Shame on you for all the pressure you put on them

Shame on you for all the pressure you pun on yourself

Shame on you for believing you just know better

Shame on you for believing you not enough

Shame on you for believing you are surrounded by the world

Shame on you for believing you don't have a backbone

Shame on you for believing only one of the three stories

Shame on you for cheating them of their money

Shame on you for cheating them of their truth

Shame on you for cheating them of their trust

Shame on you for cheating them of their love

Shame on you for cheating them of their life

Shame on you for feeling sorry for yourself

Shame on you for feeling lack of yourself

Shame on you for feeling like you have lived enough

Shame on you for feeling desperate

Shame on you for judging when you don't really know the story

Shame on you for judging the them for their lack of knowledge

Shame on you for judging them at their lowest moments

Shame on you for leaving that injured bird in the middle of the road

Shame on you for leaving when you knew the other bird needed the injured bird

Shame on you for leaving yourself behind

Shame on you for leaving your humanity behind

Shame on you for holding back

Shame on you for holding on to the bad memories

Shame on you for holding on to all the items...

Shame on you for holding your breath too long

Shame on you for failing to see that you are in control of how they see/ treat/ are towards you

Shame on you for saying you forgave, but in your heart you know you did not

Shame on you!!!

Shame on you!!

We are fools of our own accord:

We cannot help but look onto other for justification, compassion, love, and many emotions that resonate within us. We are the doers of what is wrong with the world. We choose but not wisely and surely not fairly and thus we are the end to our own humanity. We are followers of trend and at present being a person that "stand out" is currently the channel we follow; Stand Out The Trend. We are not followers, we are those who follow. We are the mistakes of our past and the contributors to our future mistakes. We are lost in the meaning of looking for meaning that guides us to the champion of the world not the champion of ourselves. We are the reflection that we dislike and the distributors to others what we are blinded by. Everything, from the length of our skin to the thickness of our bone is to promote self. To sell ourselves to the slavery of status, to impale on to others untruth and fictional emotions to satisfy our own ideas, our own misguided beliefs. We latch to things that go our way and sprint away from ideas we cannot grasp. We become identical injustice that chant on to other to free us from the same injustice we share with others. We are so un-free from ourselves that we play king and gods in the misery of others. We sit in claim that it does no good nor bad. We are artificial, a product of which we hate, the failures that fear to see it's reflection. We are the destruction of simple pure. We are Man.

The poem of you, I, and the circle in between

Perception is not the truth

the truth is the biggest lie

lie down waiting, pretending
to avert the queens strings lit fire

Finding oneself standing

in a room where everything is wrong

the feeling of not belonging

but hold on to every wall

the ground can shift

to any side

at any time

but you held my hand

and you brought me to the king

The queen sent sharp eyes

and there was nothing but cold

the breeze, so cold the breeze

you just could not feel it
but numb my fingers, numb my toes
and shivers hit my body
and I felt an earthquake in my lungs...

in my horror I imaging verses

of your beautiful plain sight

confusing

this is confusing

how did you learn to be so good at it?

these emotions

awkwardly trying to grasps

something called love

then

I learned to pretend
with denting smirk

While I lay under the queens fire

the king turns his head

and I wanted to see tears

from the corner of his eyes

his back is what I feared the most

Turning ghost before the queen

I saw myself lie

trying not to wake from infinite sleep

it was just a memory trip

waking up to a strip of fire on my skin

realizing anything is better than being here

It is supposed to hurt more than the fire

when the king held his sons and smiled

But it felt like another day

trying to be a kings son

hearing... "You are the queens son"
hearing... "she brought you, you are hers"

but still forcing my way into his heart

pushing, at all cost

trying to get my share

until there was no space left

"Perception is not the truth

the truth is the biggest lie

emotions and distortion

you should have just abort"
I tell myself that
as I look back
time and time again
I wish I did abort

Breathe

You're taking me

to the far end of everything

if you're mine

why am I chasing you

always chasing...

as exhausted as I am

I can't help but to feel

I need to catch up

you're taking me

all around

you're spinning me

round and round

I'm barely on my feet

Always arm reach away

but you're always slipping

through my fingers

living me smaller

not bigger

You're taking me

all around

you're spinning me

round and round

near damn drowning

you're teaching me

about myself

making me feel

like somebody else

You are taking me
to the far end of everything

The Building Tall Love

Find

dreaming of a stranger

from my past

walking into the street

where the sign read "One Way"

we can dream all we want

but we might end up going back

back to being strangers

people tell us how we have it all

but it takes seconds to lose

all that it took forever to build

build all that you want

nothing survives the coming storm

hard work is supposed to show

if not how do we know what it's worth?

**** Leaving The Round World ****

Since the beginning

of your time in my eyes

I have been meaning to leave

There's no way I belong

with these stick figures

counting all the wailing voices

coming from withing me

to countless...

please remove me

from this place

where there was a message

I found wounds

all the black and blues

If I had a clue

I would have exited

with my golden slippers

Now worn

unable to take me

past this side

your hands unreachable

as far as I've walked

but your language beat

the strong reflection of me

Sworn that either way

I will not last

in the beat of my shadow

until now

I have found a way

to end your lives in my eyes 

Perception

Perception

I am different from my skin
My voice sound strange to me
I see a stranger in the mirror
My senses, I do not trust
Everything taste unfamiliar
I feel an alien in my body

Before I heard myself
My voice was perfect
Before I saw myself
I could not age
before I felt myself
I knew nothing like it

Before I can know anything
I need to know perception

The Teachings

What knowledge do you posses?
what knowledge will you pass to me,
that Adam & Eve forever shame you
or did you shame them?

What knowledge will you pass to your sons
about the time before the time
before his ancestors understood the meaning of life

What knowledge will you pass on?
that the world as you knew it
will forever change
and thus because simple
as once before

In the moment of loss

When I was younger when I was expecting you. See they told me you would come for me early. Who told me? I can't say, but they said so and I sat waiting ready.

I kind of knew that when I was ready, you likely would not come, I knew you waited for me to be happy again and forget it all and that is when you would show up unannounced. I knew that when you came, I would regret it, I knew I would regret it all. 

The Whole

it's time you give back

my borrow days

it's beyond gold coins

give the wind air

and I take to count more days

...

walking far as today

standing on reflection in time

is there I see,

this hidden pottery

what is lost

has never been found

lost under your property
lost underneath your pounds

Unconscionable

happy thoughts
Happy thoughts
I need to think of nothing
but happy thoughts
I find results in things I haven't done
I said I'll  go
but found I haven't gone
Sometimes you need to go far away
just to get closer
it's ironic
something must happen
for the world to get closer
The world gets better
when it need closure
I know I know my purpose
right now it does not come to me
My mom tells me she always pray for me
not that there anything wrong with me
But I agree I need God in my life
because I've stepped away from Him
many time and find that he still loves me
Why are we so ugly
acting like we know it all
but still act funny
The lung i can replace
but the heart it's unlikely

Cheers to my, yours, and our surroundings: Cheers Mr Comple Perfection

unsettling

your portion

your single-mind fear

un-ground you

and so you live

for the things that keep you in dept

your attention

your un-supporting weight

to the fact that meals should be portioned

your habits

living still

you won't recognize them 

you fish from a dry well

you eat mainstream dish

you raise your head high

and then look down at the world

your eyes corners us

and we fear where trust is

you need to sell

your thoughts

you need to be heard

but what you think of her

is a reflection of yourself

but is apparent to everyone

except you

Your way

you want to run your way

should you think

to run our way?

all the pennies

won't buy you
the wealth you think

You cannot save yourself

only your surrounding can save you

you cannot see yourself

only your surrounding can see you

you cannot hear yourself

only your surrounding can hear you

Your surrounding is

what will be make your better self

[this is about you, but mostly is for you]

Gardener: Strings of Fairy Lights From The Darkened Skies

in the light of day
You resemble
nothing like the dark of nights
and a fool 
so full of blindness 
the blindness of night
to have the shaming light
and suddenly forget
the spirit in you

It's true
that you are more
than what you appear
if you did not lack beauty
one could see more in you
but your faith to end like narcissus
and have eyes see less in you
looking through your own peep hole
to see more in you
Not to be the same height
and be more in you
but to feel the highest of heights
and from your sound of words
be more in you

and be more in you








nineteen eighty eight