The poem of you, I, and the circle in between

Perception is not the truth

the truth is the biggest lie

lie down waiting, pretending
to avert the queens strings lit fire

Finding oneself standing

in a room where everything is wrong

the feeling of not belonging

but hold on to every wall

the ground can shift

to any side

at any time

but you held my hand

and you brought me to the king

The queen sent sharp eyes

and there was nothing but cold

the breeze, so cold the breeze

you just could not feel it
but numb my fingers, numb my toes
and shivers hit my body
and I felt an earthquake in my lungs...

in my horror I imaging verses

of your beautiful plain sight

confusing

this is confusing

how did you learn to be so good at it?

these emotions

awkwardly trying to grasps

something called love

then

I learned to pretend
with denting smirk

While I lay under the queens fire

the king turns his head

and I wanted to see tears

from the corner of his eyes

his back is what I feared the most

Turning ghost before the queen

I saw myself lie

trying not to wake from infinite sleep

it was just a memory trip

waking up to a strip of fire on my skin

realizing anything is better than being here

It is supposed to hurt more than the fire

when the king held his sons and smiled

But it felt like another day

trying to be a kings son

hearing... "You are the queens son"
hearing... "she brought you, you are hers"

but still forcing my way into his heart

pushing, at all cost

trying to get my share

until there was no space left

"Perception is not the truth

the truth is the biggest lie

emotions and distortion

you should have just abort"
I tell myself that
as I look back
time and time again
I wish I did abort


To: "god of love" "Beloved"